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Find and share the latest thinking and resources on leadership topics. From quick thought-provoking posts to recommended articles and books, you’ll find a treasure-trove of curated content.

June 10, 2023 / Blog / Leadership / Press Clips

Mariposa Recognized as a Top 50 LGBTQ+-Owned Business in Bay Area

The San Francisco Business Times has named Mariposa Leadership, Inc. to its Top 50 list of “Largest LGBTQ+-Owned Businesses” in the Greater Bay Area. The inclusion of Mariposa Leadership in this list marks the fourth year in a row that the firm has been honored by selection for the accolade. Ranking at number 39, Mariposa is the only executive leadership coaching company listed in the publication’s recent survey.

Mariposa Leadership—founded by Sue Bethanis, a leader in the executive coaching field—has earned an excellent reputation for its innovative and transformational individual and executive team coaching programs. As a trusted partner to organizations in high-tech and other demanding industries, the company empowers individuals and teams to maximize their potential, drive organizational success, and foster inclusive and diverse workplaces.

“We are extremely proud and humbled to be recognized by the San Francisco Business Times as one of the ‘Largest LGBTQ+-Owned Businesses’ in the Bay Area for the last four years. This recognition reflects our unwavering commitment to helping leaders navigate complex challenges, retain top leadership talent, foster inclusive cultures, and promote diversity in the workplace. We are grateful for the trust our clients have placed in us and for the dedication of our exceptional team.” – Sue Bethanis, CEO/Founder of Mariposa Leadership, Inc.

Mariposa Leadership has long been an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights and equality. The company’s commitment to fostering an inclusive environment extends beyond their client engagements, with a strong focus on diversity and inclusion within their own organization. Their executive coaches are thoroughly vetted and bring decades of diverse experience, backgrounds, strengths, and perspectives and bring this diversity to help their clients address their most important business challenges.

Successful high-tech and bio-tech companies, like PayPal, Amazon, Zynga, Intel, Google, and Gilead Sciences, as well as many SMBs, startups, and non-profits, have leveraged Mariposa Leadership’s executive leadership coaching to accelerate leadership performance and to cultivate engaging and innovative organizational cultures. Further, as part of its commitment to the LGBTQ+ community, Mariposa has worked with several Bay Area LGBTQ+ organizations like Start Out, Out & Equal, Equality California, and Horizons Foundation.

If you would like more information, please call Allison Adams at 415-861-5900 or email allison@mariposaleadership.com.

_________

About Mariposa Leadership, Inc.

Since its founding in 1996 by Sue Bethanis, Mariposa Leadership, Inc. has been sought by the Bay Area’s most successful companies for their expertise in executive leadership coaching. High-tech and other cutting-edge industries rely on Mariposa’s individual and executive team coaching programs to accelerate leadership performance. Sue Bethanis is the author of the well-received business book Leadership Chronicles of a Corporate Sage, and hosts Mariposa’s monthly leadership forum, WiseTalk, as well as Mariposa’s bi-weekly community Zoom room for coaches, WiseSpace.

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June 10th, 2023|Categories: Blog, Leadership, Press Clips|
August 12, 2022 / Blog / Leadership

“Stop Avoiding” WiseTalk now available!

Our recent WiseTalk interview with Sarah Noll Wilson was full of insights about overcoming avoidance. If you and/or your team tend to avoid tough but important conversations, you’ll want to listen to or peruse the summary of this practical and fun episode. Maybe share and discuss as a team? Could be a great way to try some ideas together like a “curiosity first approach” to tackle any elephants in the room (especially the Zoom room)!

Episode 66: Stop Avoiding the Big Stuff as a Leader

We’d love to hear your thoughts and questions!

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August 12th, 2022|Categories: Blog, Leadership|
July 14, 2022 / Blog / Leadership

WiseTalk podcast on “Creating a Culture of Belonging” with DDS Dobson-Smith available!

Sue’s recent WiseTalk conversation with DDS Dobson-Smith was insightful and inspiring. We highly recommend listening to or perusing the transcript. In it, DDS and Sue share some very specific ways to create inclusive environments, even in Hybrid.

Episode 65: Creating a Culture of Belonging

A favorite quote that captures the essence of the conversation:

“We all know in business as leaders, we say we want innovation, we want people to be brave, we want people to change things and to make things better. But none of that is going to happen without psychological safety.” (29:53)

Let us know how you and your leaders are doing with creating a culture of belonging. And of course, we are always here to help – whether it’s some spot coaching around this topic or a more in-depth, supportive coaching engagement for you or your leaders. Reach out!

Subscribe to the WiseTalk Podcast on Apple PodcastsGoogle PodcastsSpotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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July 14th, 2022|Categories: Blog, Leadership|
July 1, 2022 / Blog / Leadership / Press Clips

Mariposa Honored in Top 50 LGBTQ-Owned Businesses in greater Bay Area

For the third year in a row, The San Francisco Business Times has named Mariposa Leadership, Inc. to its Top 50 list of “Largest LGBTQ-Owned Businesses” in the greater Bay Area. Ranking at number 40 this year, Mariposa is, once again, the only executive leadership coaching company listed in the publication’s recent survey.

For over 25 years, Mariposa has been known as a community of coaches who challenge and learn from each other, highly respecting each other’s differing perspectives and backgrounds.

“Despite these uncertain times, Mariposa is still here and supporting leaders to navigate the myriad of current challenges. Some of these challenges aren’t just business issues, they are social issues, whether it is LGBTQ+ rights, DEI, climate change, abortion rights, or gun safety. It’s going to take leadership from business CEOs to help solve these issues. For example, Covid has shown us that tech companies have led the way for how employers should aid in the country’s pandemic response.” – Sue Bethanis, CEO of Mariposa Leadership, Inc.

To honor Pride and Mariposa’s recognition by the SF Business Times, Mariposa is making a donation to the Trevor Project, the world’s largest suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ youth.

Successful technology and biotech companies, like PayPal, Amazon, Nvidia, Zynga, and Gilead, have leveraged Mariposa Leadership’s executive leadership coaching to accelerate leadership performance and cultivate engaging and innovative organizational cultures. As part of its commitment to the LGBTQ community, Mariposa has worked with several Bay Area organizations like Start Out, Out & Equal, Equality California, and Horizons Foundation, as well as the City of San Francisco.

If you would like more information, please call Allison Adams at 415-621-6055, or email allison@mariposaleadership.com.

_________

About Mariposa Leadership, Inc.

Since its founding in 1996 by Sue Bethanis, Mariposa Leadership, Inc. has been sought by the Bay Area’s most successful companies for their expertise in executive leadership coaching. High-tech and other cutting-edge industries rely on Mariposa’s individual and executive team coaching programs to accelerate leadership performance. Sue Bethanis is the author of the well-received business book Leadership Chronicles of a Corporate Sage, and hosts Mariposa’s monthly leadership forum, WiseTalk, as well as Mariposa’s bi-weekly community Zoom room for coaches, WiseSpace.

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July 1st, 2022|Categories: Blog, Leadership, Press Clips|
April 2, 2022 / Blog / Leadership

WiseTalk podcast on “Loneliness” with Ryan Jenkins available!

Our recent WiseTalk conversation with author Ryan Jenkins was one of the best yet! We were intrigued and inspired by Ryan’s insights on loneliness – a tough and touchy subject that needs to be addressed. While people don’t tend to talk about how lonely or disconnected they feel, many people are feeling this way and Hybrid/Remote work isn’t helping. And as a leader, dealing with others’ loneliness (or your own) may feel daunting. So what to do? Listen/read this WiseTalk for some very practical insights and tips. We think you’ll find that Sue and Ryan really model how to talk about this tricky topic!

Ryan offered specific ideas from his book Connectable: How Leaders Can Move Teams From Isolated to All In and the Less Loneliness FrameworkTM:  (Notice the cool L.I.N.K. acronym)

  1. Look at loneliness and gain awareness of its impacts.
  2. Invest in connection and create safe spaces for connection.
  3. Narrow your focus and create more clarity on what’s important.
  4. Kindle the momentum and continue to focus on connectivity.

Sample insights from the conversation:

  • Lonely workers are seven times less likely to be engaged at work, five times more likely to miss work due to stress, and twice as likely to think about leaving their employer.
  • When we prioritize convenience over connection, we are doing ourselves a disservice. We should prioritize using the time saved to reinvest in meaningful connections.
  • Whether introverted or extroverted, there is really no difference in the necessity of connection. While introverts handle solitude better, they still need meaningful connection.
  • Our social skills are like a muscle we need to exercise and coming out of the pandemic we need to be more intentional and deliberate in building up our social skills and connections to reduce loneliness.
  • Leaders can have a huge impact on the prevention of loneliness in the workforce by creating more opportunities for learning, engagement, and social connection. Individuals are less likely to want to leave a company if they feel connected to their work and their organization.

Get more tips and insights by listening to the full episode or perusing the transcript here.

Subscribe to the WiseTalk Podcast on Apple PodcastsGoogle PodcastsSpotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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April 2nd, 2022|Categories: Blog, Leadership|
February 1, 2022 / Blog / Leadership

WiseTalk podcast on “Impact Players” with Liz Wiseman available!

As expected, Sue’s recent WiseTalk interview with expert Liz Wiseman about her latest book Impact Players delivered great insights (and a few laughs.)

“That is what an impact player really is. They’re these standout contributors that make teams better. We see it out in the sports world, but they also exist in the work world.”

Sue and Liz discussed these five practices of an impact player:

  1. Impact players tackle messy problems by doing the job that needs to be done, even when it’s not being asked of them. (11:03)
  2. Even when roles are unclear, impact players see leadership is needed and step up. (13:30)
  3. Impact players scan for and see obstacles, and rather than escalating or handing off difficult problems, they take ownership and finish the work. (14:44)
  4. Impact players embrace change and moving targets, prepared to adapt when things don’t go according to plan. (18:18)
  5. In the face of unrelenting demands, impact players are able to make the load feel lighter for everyone. (21:41)

To learn more about impact players, including how their traits and behaviors are teachable/coachable, listen to the full episode or peruse the transcript:

Episode 60: Developing “Impact Players”

Subscribe to the WiseTalk Podcast on Apple PodcastsGoogle PodcastsSpotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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December 9, 2021 / Blog / Leadership

25 Influential Voices for Us Over Our 25 Years

As part of our 25th celebration and reflection, we put together a list of our top 25 influencers and their resources:

  1. Teresa M. Amabile

  2. Jeanne Liedtka

  3. Bill Burnett

  4. Steve Cadigan

  5. Robert Cialdini

  6. Joshua Cooper Ramo

  7. Janet Crawford & Wendy Palmer

  8. Nancy Duarte

  9. James Flaherty

  10. Fernando Flores

  11. Lucy Freedman & Lisa Marshall

  12. Daniel Goleman

  13. Geert Hofstede

  14. Martin Lanik

  15. Ginger Lapid-Bogda

  16. Charlene Li

  17. Roger Martin

  18. Gareth Morgan

  19. Satya Nadella

  20. Thich Nhat Hanh

  21. Stephanie Pinder-Amaker & Lauren Wadsworth

  22. Daniel Pink

  23. Tony Schwartz

  24. Bonnie St. John

  25. Liz Wiseman

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December 9th, 2021|Categories: Blog, Leadership|
August 24, 2021 / Blog / Coaching Skills / Culture / Leadership / Stress / Work-Life Integration

Five Tips for Setting Boundaries in a Hybrid Workplace

 

I recently reflected on an executive leadership coaching panel discussion on the topic “Lines in the Sand: Setting Boundaries in Today’s Global, Always-On Workplace.” The similarities in perceptions between working hybrid or remotely and an “always-on” environment are striking. And the expectations are as well.  

The lines between when we clock in and check out are blurred at best. It can seem like we’re always “on” and accessible. Giving that impression or acting as if we’re always accessible is not a recipe for success – individually or for organizations. We need time to disconnect and recharge to be at our most creative and productive when we work. It also makes for a more pleasant parent, partner, friend, etc. But sadly, many organizations constantly push boundaries. It is up to individuals and leaders to keep defining, communicating, and demonstrating effective boundary-setting to ensure healthy, productive, engaging work environments. 

Five Tips: 

1. Establish agreements

Openly establish agreements and boundaries with co-workers. Figure out what works for you and the team and stick with it (with exceptions for extreme circumstances). 

    • Set a regular start and end time to your day, whether you are in the office or working from home and a time that you might usually scan email later in the evening or first thing in the morning.
    • Have a clear understanding about how and when you will cover for each other when someone needs personal time during the day, for PTO, etc.  
    • Discuss boundaries around weekends. Define “emergencies.” Teamwork and transparent communication are key. Boundaries outside of work are important too. 
    • Agreements around device-free time, children’s bedtimes, gym time, sleep-in days, etc., can go a long way to enabling regular downtime. 

2. Get clear on what is important

Get clear on what’s important to you outside of work; otherwise, it is easy to let work creep into too much of your personal time – robbing you of your work effectiveness and of having a joyful life! For example, many people say that family is important – but get really clear and specific about WHAT is important. Is it important to have dinner together every night? To read bedtime stories? To attend events together? To have family-focused weekends? Clarity and inspiration will make it easier to set and keep boundaries. 

Also, get clear on what is important at work. Many times, boundaries get crossed due to false crises. Don’t create them, and don’t overreact when others create them. Often good listening, a few calm questions, and quick brainstorming of options can reduce anxiety and panic and allow for a more reasonable approach to an issue that doesn’t have to include it being taken care of tonight. Granted, there are times when crises are real and extra time is needed, but those don’t have to be the norm. 

 

3. Use technology to your advantage

Leverage your calendar. Indicate working hours and/or block out times when you are unavailable for meetings, including appropriate morning and evening hours. Use auto-reply if you will be unavailable to respond for a longer-than-usual amount of time.

For example, our love/hate relationship with our addictive mobile devices requires some care too. These things which keep us “on” are also very capable of helping us be “off”, by auto-replying to texts when driving, in a meeting, sleeping, etc., or blocking calls, using caller ID, etc. You can also establish no-device zones or times, e.g. at the dinner table, in the bedroom, on Saturdays. 

 

4. Be brave – yes is not the only answer

Saying no to a direct request of your time is not easy, especially when the request comes from your boss or an important client. But often, an over-eagerness-to-please can cause you to say yes when you are making an unneeded sacrifice. Always giving an unequivocal yes and/or being overly flexible can set up unwelcome behaviors and expectations from that boss or client. 

    • Take a pause and a breath before immediately answering yes. 
    • Ask questions to clarify needs and timing – it’s okay to offer alternatives while making sure needs get met. 

5. Remember, you have a choice

It can be easy to get overwhelmed with the “always-on” nature of the hybrid/remote workplace today and to slip into a victim mentality about it. But you always have a choice. Focus on what you can control and do your best to maintain healthy boundaries. If your boss or organization has a very different philosophy or culture regarding boundaries it may be time for a new role or organization.

You deserve to be thriving, not just surviving. 

Let us know your best tips for thriving in today’s always-on workplace. What works for you? 

____________________________

About the author:

Tawny Lees, M.B.A., is the COO of Mariposa Leadership, Inc. She coaches, teaches, leads, ensures client satisfaction, and is a coach/client matchmaker extraordinaire. Tawny’s coaching career began in 2004, inspired and informed by over 18 years of corporate leadership experience. She held VP roles in the financial services industry in functions as diverse as Risk, Sales, Service, Operations, Change Management, and Marketing. Despite literally growing up in crazy-paced organizations, Tawny maintained a pragmatic and grounded perspective on leadership.

 

Find out more about our executive leadership coaching workshops and one on one coaching services.

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July 27, 2021 / Blog / Culture / Leadership / Mariposa Articles

Let’s Leave the Armor Off, for Good

A personal perspective on leading differently in the next pandemic transition 

We have choices as we emerge from the pandemic: We can go back to what now seems like an unsustainable pre-Covid frenetic pace, or we can use this next pandemic transition phase to start afresh, to have different kinds of conversations with our teams (and ourselves). What’s at stake is our well-being, actually. The pandemic has taken its toll on us (collectively and individually), and we are still in the midst of having to weather a storm unlike any other in our lifetimes.   

So, let us admit that we are more fragile now; that we need to be more patient with each other; and that we need to be more mindful about truly understanding each other and not leave it to happenstance or the occasional meetup.   

This next pandemic transition is an opportunity for leaders to be real: We can focus on bringing our full selves to work and breathe a sigh of relief that we don’t have to put on the armor anymore.   

It’s an opportunity to care for each other in ways we really didn’t have to in the “Before.” We can deepen connections with our team members, focus on staying flexible and open amidst constant (and continued) uncertainty, and model self-care to keep ourselves and our teams resilient.   

CONNECT. FLEX. CARE. Hopefully, you can hang your hat on these, and put that armor in the junk pile.

 

ONE: Stay close and stay connected.  

Most likely your company is sticking to a remote-only WFA (work-from-anywhere) model OR a hybrid model with some over-arching RTO (return-to-office) policies. Whichever work model your company has or is adopting, it’s vital to stay close and connected to your team members in some way, every day. Closeness comes in various forms and builds the trust needed as we enter this transitional and uncertain hybrid phase.   With the daunting amount of Zoom calls endured over the past 18 months, we have glanced into our work colleague’s living rooms, kitchens, and makeshift offices in bedrooms and closets; and we have chuckled with each dog and child passer-by. We have also experimented with a myriad of coffee-, drink-, game-, knitting-, movie-, you-name-it affinity-group meet-ups.  These glimpses and Zoom micro-meetings have brought us a bit closer and allowed us to stay connected to our work colleagues. And so-called work-life balance has become more like work-life intertwine. Yes, we have struggled with boundaries, but we have also opened up in ways we haven’t before.  What are some ways we can continue to open up, to deepen closeness and connection? Here are some ideas to try out, drawn from my own experiences with running a 13-person team of coaches and listening to many leaders tell me their stories.      One, encourage others to share thoughts and feelings in 1-1s and team meetings. This flows better if you: a) create a safe space with thoughtful questions, and b) model your own vulnerability and share what’s happening for you. Here are two examples: 

  • Do consistent check-ins at the top of team meetings. We don’t mean just a “how’s-everyone-doing-today” check-in. We have found with our team — and in listening to our clients talk about what works with their teams — having an initial 3-5 minutes to banter is important; then asking one specific question that allows people to be themselves and learn about each other works well. Questions like: 
    • What is one thing you overcame this week that surprised you? 
    • What activity did you do with a friend or family member that gave you joy? 
    • What skill are you working on outside of work that you kicked ass on? 
    • What movie or show did you watch that you adored? 
    • What conversation did you have with a colleague that gave you the support you didn’t even know you needed?  
  • Have lunch, coffee, drinks in-person, outside whether you’re WFA or RTO. Perhaps you will discover some new places near the office, renew ties with old haunts, and/or meet up with a team member at a halfway point between your homes. And decide if it’s feasible to travel to see team members (if WFA) or bring them to headquarters. All of these ideas take time and there is nothing scalable about it. On purpose. The presence you share will go a long way. And it sure beats emailing an Uber-Eats gift card. 

  Two, coaching your team members regularly is also a way to stay close and stay connected. For example: 

  • Put more attention on in-the-moment coaching. Linger after Zoom group meetings by picking up the phone with a team member or use Slack to continue a conversation; or, if you’re in the office, walk team members to their next meeting. These in-between moments are not only ripe for learning and problem-solving, but also demonstrate you’re going the extra mile for your team members.  
  • Listen for the “hard stuff.” By giving your team members more opportunities to be themselves and talk about what’s going on for them, people will inevitably bring up hard things. Like, someone might express grief over the death of a loved one from Covid; or express overwhelm with balancing kids and work; or express fears about coming into the office. Just listening and acknowledging people’s pain may be all they need; yet in some cases, a person may need much more support — from inside or outside the company. You might suggest that they chat with HR and/or Employee Assistance. Perhaps they have their own coach or therapist; check in with them about that, and if not, suggest it. 

 

TWO: Stay flexible, open, and experiment.  

(Especially if your company is doing an RTO hybrid.)  I have written previously about the importance of a leader thinking like a designer. Staying flexible and experimenting — central tenets of design thinking — is going to come in handy here in this next pandemic transition phase.   Back in March 2020, we all went out of the office together, and as tech leaders and employees, you were mostly in the same boat as far as being disadvantaged or advantaged (depending on your perspective) by working from home. Not the case now. The RTO hybrid is about to be different-day-different-company-different-boat. This is concerning for many reasons, mostly because things and people will get lost in the shuffle. Unfortunately, this is a perfect storm for even more exclusion and lack of continuity.   Yet, there are things you can control and design for.   

  • One, do a mindset re-set: Prepare yourself for even more uncertainty. (“Oh god,” you’re whispering under your breath right now). If you expect that things (i.e., outside-the-company forces, inside-the-company policies),  will be in constant motion, then when you hear about (yet again), another shift in mask-wearing, or that you  can’t get monitors for your new hoteling desks because the supply chain is four months behind, or that the facilities app that determines who is in-the-office-what-days completely gets f**ked up, then you could say to yourself, “It’s ok, we are expecting these snafus to happen…this isn’t a surprise.” We know this is easier said than done. But this is the point. With prototyping new work models and any new apps/tools/platforms, etc., there will be failures. Fail fast, get the feedback, and try a different way.  
  • Two, in the midst of the grandest prototyping experiment ever, it’s important to check your anxiety along the way. Your anxiety level very much will determine how much uncertainty you can handle. Part of being flexible means being calm in the midst of a big, fat mess. What can you do to be more patient, overall, and catch yourself when things aren’t going the way you want them to, or the way they should be going? We know meditation and breathing helps. We know that people who meditate regularly (sitting for as little as 10 minutes a day) will be able to access the calmness they experience when they meditate when the going gets tough at the office, at home, or in-between (because we know that commuting on those freeways again is really going to suck).   
  • Three, another aspect of being flexible is the discernment you model when dealing with the myriad of new circumstances-turned-dilemmas that are already popping up in the RTO hybrid. From our vantage point at Mariposa (currently working with approximately 24 companies and 70+ leaders), the primary problem in the RTO hybrid is “managing by exception.” This could be related to everything from how many days in the office to traveling to offsites to mask-wearing (and a host of other new policies).  

For example, if your company has instituted a mandatory 3/2 hybrid (three days in the office, two at home), and you have a team member who moved away during the pandemic, what do you do? This situation came up with one of our clients recently. The leader — a senior director at a 1500-person tech firm — wasn’t sure what to do with a top performer who had permanently moved 1000 miles away in the early part of the pandemic. She didn’t want to lose the employee, so she granted an exception to the company policy. The leader made the decision based on a lot of communication with her team member — to understand their situation — and she looked at all the possible angles. The leader was definitely concerned about flight risk (because her team member could easily go work for another remote-only company — even a competitor). However, in the end, it wasn’t just about the flight risk. By taking ample time to learn about the employee’s circumstances at home, the leader gained a deeper understanding and more empathy, so ultimately, the decision wasn’t that hard to make. This senior director is not alone in trying to solve for these types of dilemmas. (In fact, her situation is so typical that “remote-only” companies are starting to capitalize on this status as a competitive advantage.)   We have all seen the headlines about the protesting at large tech companies (e.g., company wants 3,4,5 days in the office; employees want less). Now multiply that by every tech company. Wow. Each tech company has its own RTO hybrid policies. And bosses on every level are going to be bombarded with exceptions to the policies (e.g., company wants 3 days in the office; employees want 0,1,2). There aren’t scalable solutions here; in fact, by its nature, “manage by exception” IS one person at a time. Thus, in anticipation of this messiness, we have outlined some questions you can ask yourself when you’re working with your team(s): 

    • What are your initial criteria for granting an exception? While performance most likely is one of the criteria, what other criteria are you considering? (Their home life circumstances, their value to team, etc.) 
    • What is your opinion of the RTO policies? How might your views be affecting how you’ll be granting exceptions? 
    • What is your relationship with the person you’re granting the exception to? Are you granting exceptions to people you know better and trust more? In other words, check yourself on favoring people you know better.  
    • How can you be the most flexible and still hold to the company policies? 

Expect the unexpected, continue to hone and experiment, and do the best you can to discern the optimal solution for that day or that situation, person, or team.    

THREE: Do self-care and help others do it, too. 

All through the pandemic, in our coaching work, we have supported leaders in many areas of skill and design; and self-care and well-being have been a central focus.    In the initial stages of the pandemic, we helped clients design boundaries around what-was-work-and-what-was-home — everything from “Zoom Room” logistics to exercise routines to how to hide out from one’s two-year-old. More than anything we focused on helping clients model what Tony Schwartz so aptly calls “manage your energy, not your time.” Now, 18 months later, we have not changed our tune. We still think self-care is the single most important act you can do right now for yourself, and it’s a twofer: Modeling self-care is the single most important leaderly act you can do for your team or organization’s culture.    

  • One, as we move into the next pandemic transition phase, what are the self-care routines you will want to keep that have served you well during the pandemic?  
    • Are you getting outside every day, for example, and if so, if you’re continuing with WFA, how can you increase that outside time? If you’re going to a RTO hybrid, how can you keep your commitment to outside time (no matter what!)? 
    • What other exercise routines will you keep and add to?  
    • What about your nutrition 
    • Your sleep? 
    • Your meditation and/or alone time? 

 

  • Two, what are some rituals you would like to add now that being social is a thing, again? For example: 
    • How will you socialize at work?  
    • When and where will you travel for work and for fun?  
    • What networking events will you do?  
    • How will you deal with some of the awkwardness of greetings, leavings, and lingerings? (A colleague said to us the other day that he went to a networking event, and he found himself not knowing what to do with his hands; he had to think about it way too much. While it was so welcomed to get out there, he said, it was super awkward, too. This, too, shall pass…with practice.) 
    • How will you see your in-work and out-of-work friends regularly? And could you up your game in keeping it real? 

 

  • Three, how will you encourage others to focus on their self-care and well-being? One way is by making it a standing agenda item in your team meetings by asking: How do you rate your well-being on a scale of 1-10 today? And what could you do to up it a notch the rest of the day? Another way to encourage your team members’ self-care is by matching up team members with each other as support partners or buddies. Ask that they meet up once a week for 20-30 minutes to ask each other how they’re meeting their self-care goals.  

 

  • Finally, hopefully, it goes without saying, that you, as a leader, need support, too. Please be gentle with yourself and ask for the support you need. 

  Last week, one of my favorite people, Steve Cadigan, happened to be in Maui at the same time as I, and we took a walk on Kama’ole I, my favorite beach. He asked me: “Sue, how are you doing, really?” I thanked him for asking and said: “Well, the pandemic has kicked my ass, no question about it, and I don’t think I will ever be the same. And…I have gotten through it, thanks to being outside like we are now in this glorious place…and, well, the Giants’ winning ways have helped my spirits immensely.” We both laughed out loud.   All kidding aside, I got through the pandemic and will continue to “keep it real” for one primary reason: I ask for support. For example, I have worked with both an executive coach and a therapist on-and-off over the past 25 years; during the pandemic, I have upped this to every week without fail. I have sought out professionals for my teenager to support him through distance learning and to help me support him as well. I have regularly connected with my friends for their support and to get us outside so none of us get too isolated. I initiated and still facilitate two Zoom support groups (one with my best friends which meets Monday nights; and one with executive coaches across the U.S., which meets every other Wednesday morning). My weekly calls with my business partner, Tawny Lees (another one of my favorite people), have been focused on our respective well-being as much (or more) as our strategy and operational agenda items. And Tawny and I shifted the Mariposa team weekly Zoom meetings so we could spend more time on individual and collective well-being, including helping each other through continued uncertainty.   In this essay, I have asked you to take the opportunity now, in this next pandemic transition phase, to refresh your conversations with your teams — to connect, to flex, and to model self-care. I can ask (and hopefully, inspire) you to do these things because I am on the same journey to do these things, myself. 

My best to you as we all navigate this new world. I welcome your comments and ideas.  

RE-FRESH: A Quick Guide Re-fresh your conversations with your team members. Here is a quick guide — a set of questions we created for one of our clients, a COO at a 300-person tech company. She used this format for a meeting with her whole team. These questions can serve as topics to ask yourself and your team members, in 1-1s or group meetings.

Thank You’s 

I want to acknowledge the Mariposa Leadership team, all of whom are partners in these white paper endeavors. We try to practice what we preach in giving each other constant feedback and in trying new things (ad nauseam). Special thanks to Tawny Lees and Allison Adams for their edits and insights. And we owe all of this to the Mariposa clients. Their ideas, practices, and successes are woven throughout these pages.  

About the Author 

Susan J. Bethanis, Ed.D., is the Founder/CEO of Mariposa Leadership, Inc., a 13-person San Francisco-based firm that provides executive coaching and design thinking to tech and biotech leaders. Sue’s book, Leadership Chronicles of a Corporate Sage, is a fly-on-the-wall account of real conversations between a coach and an executive. Sue received her Doctorate in Education at USF, specializing in Organizational Leadership; her dissertation looked at the interdependence between language and change in organization culture. She received her Master’s Degree in Education from Stanford, specializing in Instructional Design. Sue also has a certification in Design Thinking from Stanford’s d.School. Sue lives in San Francisco and Maui with her 15-year-old entrepreneurial teen, Max. When she’s not coaching, Sue’s playing tennis, pickleball, and (attempts) golf; and she makes photographs all over the world. Contact her at 415-265-3142, sueb@mariposaleadership.com. Follow her at @suebethanis on Twitter and Instagram. 

About Mariposa  

For 25 years, Mariposa has been offering leadership coaching and consulting to tech leaders in both 1-1 and group formats. Mariposa’s recent clients include AppFolio, AWS, Gilead, Honor, Intel, Nvidia, PayPal, Peloton, Tapestry, Twitch, Theravance, Zuora, and Zynga. Leaders are turning to Mariposa’s executive coaches to help pivot, plan, and perform through this uncertainty.   For more information, visit us at www.mariposaleadership.com.  Download the PDF here      

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June 26, 2021 / Ask Mariposa / Blog / Leadership

Ask Mariposa: How can a high performer increase confidence?

Ed asks: I’m a senior executive with a track record of high performance.  My performance levels have led to interesting career growth opportunities as well as increasing amounts of responsibility over the years.  Given all I’ve achieved, my peers and colleagues believe I have a high level of confidence.  But, the truth is, I don’t feel that way inside. I wish I felt as confident as my performance indicates it is. What steps can I take to work on closing this gap?

Barbara Baill, Executive Leadership Coach, responds:

Your confidence levels have not become a barrier to performance.  However, it will take some work to unwind the stories you’ve been telling yourself over the years about your limitations.  One way to start working on this is to recognize when your internal narrative is at play.  When you are in situations when you are feeling unsure, what are you thinking?  How does your body feel?  Begin to notice what transpires in these moments, and write them down.  Once you’ve identified your internal narrative, you can work on interrupting these habitual responses with more positive experiences.  Reflect on prior successes when you’ve overcome similar feelings and have pushed through to positive outcomes.  You can also try positive affirmations to change the narrative in these moments, as well as any meditation or mindfulness technique to get centered.

Somatic work might also help you embody your own leadership.  Work on getting more into your body to feel and experience your own strength.  Practice several ways you might walk into a room, perhaps to give a presentation.  Observe the sensations in your body and where you feel them. Notice your posture.  What feels good to you?  Meditation or mindfulness practices can help with this as well.  Practice tightening and relaxing your body while you sit with your eyes closed and notice what you feel.  The idea is to consciously embody the strength that resides within.

You might also want to watch Amy Cuddy’s 10-minute TED talk, Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are. In this talk, you’ll learn how standing in a confident stance even when you’re not feeling confident can impact success.

Good luck!

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